Mural of Memories

•March 19, 2013 • Leave a Comment

Mural of memories

Every few blocks or so there was a different one.

Some depicting the Virgin Mary others 1-D effigies of Paisley.

Always grey and almost nobody in the streets but in its own way derry was beautiful.

I always felt like I didn’t belong here .

We were up at dawn to start work on the farm, lady our retriever would welcome us with an enthused dance  and wag of her tail.

We never could decipher what the dance meant.

But we guessed it was perhaps to join in our daily jubilation for again overcoming the ever resourceful sand man and his bag of tricks.

We loved lady dearly for this.

Then off she shot to diligently carry out her duties as a sheep dog.

When we were done feeding the livestock and fulfilling our mosaic duties at about 10 in the morning .

We made love to each other for hours (on end).

Sometimes, even  in the filth of our farming.

Maybe it was most of the time.

We would then seek to freshen up in the bathroom, and end up on the floor with each other in an intimate embrace that lasted…. for as long as it took the world to re-birth civilization,for longer than that time God was late for his appointment on earth,aeons, centuries, millenia. In a timeless embrace.

In an embrace which lasts 4 minutes and yet transcends time.

At about 4 we finally return to earth, and we had lunch , garlic bread, chicken dippers and something fizzy.

We did this everyday .


But Remember,

Absens Haeres Non Erit.


the Quarter Life Crisis

•March 7, 2013 • 3 Comments

the Quarterlife-crisis

Whats it all about?

Mature beyond one’s years? Or did I just grow up too fast ?

Being concerned with everything at one moment, and nothing and everything in the next.

The Burden of achieving so much at so young an age coupled with the expectation to continue in that upward curve is one I would rather not bear.

Does it count if these are self inflicted expectations? But ARE they really self inflicted? Or is this what has somehow slipped into my conscience by devices of the ruling, when I have let my guard down? I cant be sure of anything anymore.


Then there is love.

The small mystery of two becoming one , seamlessly;remaining one however is…….. well something for another day maybe.

Developing my genius means not being confined to one  field but allowing my mind to satisfy its childlike desire for more and more.

That is why I do this really!

Becoming a genius , How do I become a genius?

Something thats actually crossed my mind!

Then there’s love.

Operating in this realm on that high frequency  no matter who  you deal with;knowing peace & limitless power by so doing.

Creatures we all are? some of habit, others of … I don’t know? planned randomness?(still habit)

What am i saying ?

We are all creatures of habit!

However its how long I repeat those habits until I trade them in for newer ones that count.

i think.

Principles by which I live never to be deviated from, this sets me apart from others.

Surely, only the feeble flout these!


Being as heavy as is healthy and is deemed fit for an adult human my height.


My soul really doesn’t care about those things.

I did it anyway. and in a way I think that’s why I’m in this rut.

Thinking all I needed were the superficials and the soul will fall into check.

How wrong I was.

Now here I sit as dazzled as a deer staring down the headlights of a truck approaching at blistering speed.

I could move …… but whats the point really?

Tilt in my foot

•September 25, 2012 • 2 Comments

Yes I am pigeon toed, but I tilt in my foot.

I didn’t quite notice until I gazed at myself today.

At rest my feet adopt a more ‘relaxed-on-the-fringes’ sort of position.


I only notice this now,

how many more things about me I didn’t know?

How many more people have a tilt in the foot as I do and yet not know it?

“But it was OBVIOUS I tilted in the foot”, I mutter in soliloquy.

All the oddly placed scuff marks or my moccasins should have been enough indication of this.

All the mocks of my waddle so gracefully demonstrated by childhood chums could have told me.

The constant yammer of my folks on how I SHOULD walk might have prodded another into realising the tilt in my foot.

I was blind……. I guess??

Or did I really care how I looked as I made my way through much of what was a ANOTHER secondary socialisation?




Remember Absens haeres non erit.


•August 29, 2012 • 2 Comments

I find that I’m all too content to live in alternate reality, a world with gentle undertones of the supernatural, a sort of Utopia …. but with dimmer lights and far fewer people .

Language, is a major hideout for me.

That’s why I relish it so much, not the English Language per se but its skilful use.

I am unable to flow in any other languages hence I only appreciate (beautifully written/ spoken) English at this point .

Like I said language is one of my hideouts , the more unbelievable, the more heightened my interests. Gullible on purpose, blissfully naïve if you like. My love for the unusual when combined with skilled writing transports me into a world of my own.

A world I rarely ever want to leave .
The Odd, the Unusual, the Quirky, the Esoteric, the Divine.

Literature with all of these elements could kill me on its own, however conveyed with beautiful language …. (*sigh*)

The only things I CAN get totally immersed in
are dreams,illusions,otherworldly. Maybe because, well? reality is too much deal with and generally it doesn’t hurt anyone. A defence mechanism? maybe. But it feels soo good.

I adore authors who effortlessly transport you into a dream with every semblance of reality. The art I believe is not to make the transition from real to dream so obvious. But what do I know about literature ?

Remember, Absens Haeres Non Erit


•August 13, 2012 • Leave a Comment

I had it all figured out. The Plan was simple, set your eyes on it and go for it, do not stop until it’s achieved.

Then comes life with all its drama and unexpectedness and ruffles me up just a bit and blam! Just like that I’m flat on my face without the faintest idea how I got here or how I’ll be getting out of this one .

I became a bit distracted, focused on other things , other people, I stopped taking time out to reflect.

I just woke up and dashed off.

A myriad of thoughts flood my mind even now as we converse, I can feel confusion has set in I am agitated it is as if I’m no longer in control .

I once thought my mind this Fortress of Solitude.


“Order there must always be order”,

“With order comes control ” I think to myself.

It dawns on me what had caused all of this angst.

I had failed to do the first thing I told myself TO DO and that was to set my eyes on IT.

Somewhere along the journey I had allowed my gaze to slip.

Solution: Re-Adjust lens and once again go for it, and not stop until i have achieved it!

Crisis averted.

Absens Haeres Non Erit


•May 19, 2012 • 3 Comments





So I’ve never really understood the psyche of the female species.

Through some pal guidance, that square/ rectangular box the aristocracy has snuck into almost every single household across the world to project their version of reality onto the masses and pop-ups on the world wide web( to be honest the pop-ups did more harm than good) however I did not fare too badly with the female kind.

But I wasn’t content with that,I wanted to  have the entire species mesmerised with not as much as a gaze cast “them-wards” . I guess every guy would? But much more than that latent desire embedded deep within the subconscience, of all heterosexual mankind I felt differently, no not differently … More Strongly about this almost as if t’were my calling to to have that effect on women. (My do I feel like that modern personality who ” commands a great degree of public fascination” often accused of having a “REFUKULOUSLY” large Egooo.)

As such I embarked on a journey of refining and distilling myself until I was left with the raw essence,the optimal version of my self if you like ,the way I see it I am about 20 measures of weight (which I shudder to disclose or accept ) away from my first hurdle in project Lothario ….the physical , hmmm or maybe that’s all there is to it and after the first phase I’m done?

I’ll just have to wait and see.

Phase 2 will probably be actually getting into their psyche.

I honestly don’t know which phase will come after that or if there are any other phases to go through…

But so far I’ve learnt its always good to be yourself(to an extent)gives it a more organic feel and then tactfully spicing it up with a few unverifiable,vaguely believable, but interesting ” stories ” and cloaking yourself in slight mystique doesn’t hurt.

Oh and what’s Abschiedskuss? German for a goodbye kiss (which I never got!)

Remember,  Absens Haeres Non Erit…