Outward Calm

Its just hard sometimes to keep that cool exterior amidst the tumult of life.

To stay focused rational and largely unperturbed takes a lot of effort ,

In those moments one’s focus is fine-tuned to the unpleasant happening.

The misfortune is played back in our minds on an  almost endless loop . You mull over it for what seems like an eternity and that has a sort of amplifying effect.It seldom is as bad as it seems though.

Its never as bad as it seems.Its the emotions you see, they just have their way of their way of muddying the appearance of things.

But enough of that.

I tend to admire people who have the appearance of being in absolute control.

One of the pictures I saw had a lead character who was completely void of any sort of emotion he radiated a constant blank stare as he went about  his scripted duty, a stare the  insides of a  derelict dungeon  would get tired of after a few minutes.

No ! not that, sort of countenance.

The more water off a duck’s back cool, .

The cool which speaks of a transcended being merely passing through this transient dimension.

I’m learning however that I often am under an illusion.

The nature of my slant on reality being this……….

I often forget that  im in a place, like  a fly on the wall, of a world bustling with people going about life.

And so the more immersed into a setting I get the easier it is for me to acquiesce to my being  somehow outside of it and yet entirely a part of it.

I’m weakest at this point .

Vulnerable,

because in this trance I can not determine the outcome of anything.

Where was I going with this one, ahah! outward calm,  it usually doesn’t mean anything beyond that, it just appears  calm on the outside.

The real strength is being able to show your feelings and confide in someone freely and not regretting you did so .

I’m just weak.

Remember Absens Haeres Non Erit.

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~ by The Fat Diaries on April 8, 2013.