Goodbye

•April 17, 2016 • Leave a Comment

 

Twenty-seven is a lot different from what I expected it to be .

Grown into myself a bit more, a bit more grounded in the knowledge that I ought only fly.

Used to the momentary tides of uncertainty and the staying belief that the almighty will steer me ashore.

Recognizing my flaws and growing through defeating them.

Appreciating the value of service and deriving satisfaction from helping others in my work.

Living in the present more and knowing what is important.

Trusting my gut more, being fearless to do what I intuit is right .

Accepting the consequences that come with my decisions and taking responsibility even when they do not go as initially intended.

Instantly owning up to a mistake and saying sorry.

Being comfortable with my fallible self, quirks and irrational and mostly petty preferences. Allowing myself to explore more film,music culture, language, food, drink, technology,conspiracy theories , remaining inquisitive.

Listening more,watching more and in so doing knowing more.

Oh for the grace to grow, not to stand still and finally never be too stubborn to learn.

Until we meet again, remember…

6BOB5ME8IB

Absens Haeres Non Erit.

 

the Middle bit

•March 30, 2014 • Leave a Comment

Stories of success often emphasize the dramatic.

The trying times ,uncertain times, joyful times, times of mourning times of jubilation  times of plenty  times of nothing.

Times of insecurity ,times of  doing, perfect finishes , the ultimate paradise , the cherry to top off the cake .

They often miss out the times ostensibly of nothing.

After the psyching up, the planning, the execution and finally the reward.

There is a part of the story that is often not told, the part where they knew exactly what had to be done, were in the right frame of mind, started doing it, and doing it and doing it, year in year out, slaving away with no apparent change and not as much motivation as they first set off with, and the occasional doubt of their ability to achieve the reward creeping in ,but fighting off those thoughts off although not with as much vigor as they once did, contemplating how these doubts had come to be,having to remind themselves of themselves but staying the course nonetheless and keeping at  it and keeping at it.

Oh that they spent a bit longer on the Middle bit of their success story.

 

 

 

Orb

•January 2, 2014 • 2 Comments

Deserted fileds 2

Its about two O’clock , there are barely any clouds in the sky, well except for that little patch of grey that shields the sun  from me. Out in the open nothingness of field amidst the collage of  half-dried  maize crops and weeds intermingled. There is a mixture of  warmth which the daylight gives and a lingering chill.

A yellowish-orange ball of  something quite similar to an energy orb depicted in that manga comic, turned cartoon, turned epic failure of a movie  in which the characters turned into a sort of hyper mode before they were really able to do any damage( which they had made full recoveries from, come the next episode) to each other oscillates from the earths core  through a hole in the ground out there in the middle of nowhere into the sky where it is still for a few seconds darkening the entire field, the ball of consuming energy emits jets of lightning with a soft crackle and then back to the earth’s core from whence it had come.

It repeats this  journey

Absens Haeres Non Erit.

Idiosyncrasies & a Lost Memo

•October 15, 2013 • 1 Comment

All,

That it may resound loud and clear.

I entirely at peace with my oddities, oft dread having to ‘justify’ my every quirk with some very well considered school of thought.

It’s  why the ‘Flashbang’ tactic is employed  during  the initial meets; to generally set the tone of what the future may hold.

One of random ideals, involuntary hand gestures and resolute conviction.

‘Harmoniously diverse’ and ‘truly beautiful’ would be the attributes of a world which acknowledged the method in every character’s madness whilst still in this trial run for eternity.

Until that day,

remember absens haeres non erit.

Courtship

•July 6, 2013 • 1 Comment

Image

Apparently its better NOT to be all alone in the world.

Everything must start with yourself though.

I’m afflicted, how do I find that sweet spot. Somewhere between supreme zen and an ideal partner

The parents and their ‘subtle’ hints.

“I’ll be a strong grandfather dont you think son?”

Its more complicated than you think guys!

Or is it simpler?

All I need is a perfect blend of genes, intellect and character.

Real pedigree.

I must be a different kind of chauvinist to compare a life’s companion to

generations of dogs bred to perfection.

How rare it is to come across perfection and yet I have.

And it slipped away from me.

Wasn’t mine to start with.

Felt a lot like twas though, muddied  perception I guess.

All I count on is that the earth is forever on an orbit around the sun, the cyclical nature of the universe and the possibility of the constellations one day being aligned in the same manner as that day I first saw perfection

Perhaps we’ll meet again maybe we won’t….

I’ll wait.

DSM-IV

•June 5, 2013 • 2 Comments

Image

” Lets escape together”

“It’ll be different this time , I promise”

She gave in immediately.

Powerless to his unscrupulous charm, it danced around  in her mind, it gently swayed her to his side .

“You will come face to face with all the riches in the world, your wildest fantasies will materialise in a place  just over yonder ” he said as they stared out of their window  into the valley.

“Are you sure darling?” she asked

The rain  began to beat more furiously against the window pane .

“Sure?” he retorted in disbelief. “I haven’t been more certain about anything in my life”

“You’ll see” he said with a smile  as his grip around her fragile frame tightened .

At that moment, as if on cue, every fibre of his body started to tingle, it let off a spooky glow, it was as though bolts of electricity were being harnessed inside him, everything paled in comparison to him, a surge of conviction had just swept through him, all that beheld this spectacle felt truly privileged .

(Or at least so he thought.)

With that promise, they braced themselves as thoughts of their encounters with the  ill-tempered valley goats crossed their minds  and jetted off into  the storm.  A considerable chill fell over the entire valley,  aside the sound of the blankets of rain tumbling down, there was an intermittent sound of  distant thunderings .

A couples’ journey into untold wealth had began.

[insert story here]

” But darling you promised!” she yelped as he cast her over the bridge  into the lair of Ill-tempered goats .

” Oh that,” he responded calmly.

“I lied.”

Absens haeres non erit

Outward Calm

•April 8, 2013 • 2 Comments

outward calm

Its just hard sometimes to keep that cool exterior amidst the tumult of life.

To stay focused rational and largely unperturbed takes a lot of effort ,

In those moments one’s focus is fine-tuned to the unpleasant happening.

The misfortune is played back in our minds on an  almost endless loop . You mull over it for what seems like an eternity and that has a sort of amplifying effect.It seldom is as bad as it seems though.

Its never as bad as it seems.Its the emotions you see, they just have their way of their way of muddying the appearance of things.

But enough of that.

I tend to admire people who have the appearance of being in absolute control.

One of the pictures I saw had a lead character who was completely void of any sort of emotion he radiated a constant blank stare as he went about  his scripted duty, a stare the  insides of a  derelict dungeon  would get tired of after a few minutes.

No ! not that, sort of countenance.

The more water off a duck’s back cool, .

The cool which speaks of a transcended being merely passing through this transient dimension.

I’m learning however that I often am under an illusion.

The nature of my slant on reality being this……….

I often forget that  im in a place, like  a fly on the wall, of a world bustling with people going about life.

And so the more immersed into a setting I get the easier it is for me to acquiesce to my being  somehow outside of it and yet entirely a part of it.

I’m weakest at this point .

Vulnerable,

because in this trance I can not determine the outcome of anything.

Where was I going with this one, ahah! outward calm,  it usually doesn’t mean anything beyond that, it just appears  calm on the outside.

The real strength is being able to show your feelings and confide in someone freely and not regretting you did so .

I’m just weak.

Remember Absens Haeres Non Erit.